Listen up, you inquisitive members of society! We’ve got a mystery for you. Nine years ago, a Denver Post restaurant critic wrote a piece about his negative experiences at different local establishments (and they sound very negative, or at the very least he sounds kinda bitchy).

In it, he gives general descriptions of the restaurants and the names a few neighborhoods. A Washington Park bakery that serves burnt coffee. A Capitol Hill restaurant with an odd host station screensaver. A beautifully designed Northern Stapleton restaurant that likes to close up early.

Here’s the challenge: Restaurant critic Tucker Shaw never revealed where exactly these restaurants are. It’s a total mystery as to which restaurants he was critiquing. But, nearly ten years later, we want to find out. Like, really badly.

Do you live in those neighborhoods? Do you know what restaurants Tucker Shaw is talking about? Have you been there? Have you had a similar experience?

Do any of these restaurants exist anymore? I mean, it’s been nine years, chances are if these experiences are that bad then I can’t imagine they’ve lasted terribly wrong. Then again, you never know.

…Or do you?

If you do know these restaurants and you want to play this little guessing game, or if you know what neighborhood these poor excuses for eating establishments reside in, you should head on over to EveryBlock, a forum for neighborhood news. You really couldn’t ask for a better public forum to gab about your neighborhood establishment and how they made you wait for 15 minutes before even asking if you want a drink.

Or you could even post about your own terrible restaurant experiences! Get in touch with your neighbors and gossip about having burnt coffee, being told not to order sushi when it’s on the menu or waiting an absurd amount of time for a cocktail.

Well, what are you waiting for? Get cracking, little Sherlock Holmes-wannabes!