Age of Ultron: How Innovative Robots Will Steal Your Job

Robots. Once nothing but a sci-fi fantasy, now very much a reality, changing our very way of life. Many would call that revolutionary, a beacon of a bright Star Trek-ly future. Others would say it’s destructive, opening the doors to something far more sinister, like Ultron, an artificially intelligent super-robot constructed entirely out of adamantium (you know, the stuff Wolverine stabs people with), will soon be leading a robot army to humanity’s ultimate demise (and into theatres this May 1st, wink wink).

(Future overlord Ultron. Image property of Marvel/Disney)

With the way robotics and artificial intelligence are going, it would seem that robots are taking over every little aspect of our lives. But regardless of what you believe, robots are here to stay. They make our lives easier, more convenient, and less laborious. People used to construct cars, now they’re constructed by robots. And while some would say that they’re stealing jobs, others would say that they’re creating new ones.

For more insight on this, we spoke with Jim Gunderson, Ph. D from Gamma 2 Robotics (209 Kalamath St, Unit 13, Denver, CO 80223). Gamma 2 Robotics programs and develops mobile security robots that are (fortunately) not much like the ED-209 from RoboCop. So Jim knows his stuff when it comes to robots taking on human roles.

JG: I think it’s absolutely a valid concern in terms of jobs being taken over by robots.

That’s right it’s a valid concern. It’s a legitimate fear! I’m terrified! So, without further delay, let’s see what Ultron envisions for his perfect, human-free universe:

1. Cleaning

Much like Rosie the maid from The Jetsons, robots should be cleaning up after us. Not because we’re lazy (okay, some of us are). Thankfully, the robotics industry has begun to break into this market with the Roomba. We love our Roombas, the way they glide across the floor picking up crumbs like a hungry dog, the way they terrify our cats, and the way they make us laugh in Arrested Development (anyone? anyone?).

JG: That’s one of our big goals [in robotics development]. I think we’re still 10-15 years out from even something functional. The problem is that homes are uniquely human spaces, and robots are not very good at unique spaces. They need things to be very regular, and anyone who’s trying to maintain a house knows that there’s no regularity to it.

We want more than just a crumb scooping cat frightener, we want our own robotic maid who can handle the irregularities and unique home set ups, complete with wisecracks. … Okay, maybe I just want my own Rosie.

2. Cooking and Food Service

Sometimes you’re too lazy too cook, don’t feel like cooking, too busy to cook, or couldn’t cook if you tried your very best. And since microwave meals, while convenient, are a little sad, wouldn’t it be nice to have your own Gordon Ramseybot 1500 in your kitchen making you the perfect scrambled eggs?

JG: There’s some novelty here. But, let’s say you go into a sushi place and there’s a robot with a bunch of knives and digits hanging behind the counter making sushi for you. That’s kind of a nice novelty, but it’s not really what we want, as people, to experience when we go to a restaurant.

Yeah, well, it won’t matter what we want when robots take over your local sushi kitchen, will it?

3. Entertainment

Not just any entertainment, the kind of innovative entertainment that rivals people. Not to make it harder for the starving artist or anything, but a robot that can dance, sing, tell jokes, or other various talents will certainly get my money. Janelle Monae’s robot alter ego Cindy Mayweather may be fictitious, but have you seen her dance? No way she’s human.

JG: When we think about going to a concert or stage production, we kind of think of it as this really creative space and it’s very interactive. But, honestly, when you look at the hundreds of hours that they spend in practices and rehearsals in order to be able to do the same thing the same way at every show … that’s the thing that robots are, in fact, good at. We did have a period where we were going to program a couple of robots and have them perform “Waiting for Godot.

Be afraid, starving young artists, your competition just got more intense.

4. Security

Remember the ED-209 robot in RoboCop? Wouldn’t you want something like that guarding your whatever? Well, thanks to Denver company Gamma 2 Robotics (209 Kalamath St, Unit 13 Denver, CO 80223), something like this is already in development. The Vigilant is a security bot that boops and beeps around guarding its surroundings. It’s got heat-sensors, can move rapidly, and, of course, sound an alarm and call the police. But is it anything like the super-intimidating ED-209?

JG: Well, of course, our policy is if you put weapons on the robot, it voids the warranty. That notion of using a Terminator-style, massive threatening war machine that’s being introduced to a corporate environment or workplace is a clash of cultures. 90% of security’s job is, aside from being a security presence, is helping people figure out where the office is, checking them in, etc. And if you equip that officer with fully-kitted out combat equipment, well, there will be a clash. But, I think it’s going to be a while before we see a lost child in a shopping mall running up to the robot to say, “I can’t find my mommy.”

5. Crime

Just because we’ll have robotic law enforcers, doesn’t mean that we don’t have robot criminals. That means we’d have our very own loveable scamp, Bender. Who doesn’t want a little Bender in their lives?

JG: Oh, Bender. One of the things we tell people when we’re talking about physical security in our robots is that you’re never going to hear the day after your building was robbed, that the robot was seen in a bar and somebody slid an envelope across the table. They’re just not smart enough to be deceitful.

Or maybe that’s what they want us to think! And if you think that crime isn’t a job, well, you obviously haven’t seen The Wire.

(Property of Marvel/Disney)

There’s a little taste of the future, my fellow human meat-bags. Robots are going to be everywhere. And whether they arrive in full force as if they’re being led by the dreadful Ultron bent on the eradication of humanity in order to save it (somehow), or subtly joining our everyday lives. First as service, then as artificial intelligence, then perhaps as citizens? Personally, I’d say give robots citizenship as soon as they realize they could have it just to avoid any kind of Skynet/Ultron kind of situation (…That being said, if I were going to be enslaved by any robot overlord, I would prefer the eerily soothing voice of James Spader).

JG: I’ll tell you what we respond to people who ask about the coming robot revolution, when the robot overlords are going to get rid of us. My advice to people is to get a robot now and treat it really well. Because, come the apocalypse, you want one of those machines to say, “No, no, don’t vote her off the island.”

So, there you have it. Get a robot, be cool to it, and it’ll be cool to you. Here’s to the automated future, folks! It’s gonna be a good one.